I am sitting here in sweats I have worn for 3 days, home from work eating a bunch of junk food, watching E True Hollywood Stories about Rocker daughters and Ex-Wives and feeling depressed because I can't breathe and I have 472 things that need to be done by tommorow. And it dawns on me for the 1,000th time - my life is too complicated. When I won't slow it down my body steps in and shuts it down for me. I don't think it is supposed to be this way.
I always set up a life that is too complicated until it gets too complicated and then I want a simple life. I usually just change jobs, eat something fattening or buy something I don't really need. But now, I just want a simpler version of the life I have. I want to enjoy my family instead of them being one more burden in my busy life. I want to cook good food that is good for my body and makes me healthy. I want a clean house. I want to read for pleasure and enjoy reading instead of feeling guilty that I am not being productive. I want to have room to seize the day and enjoy something that was not planned. I want to go to work and feel that I am making the world a better place but not feel that I have to solve ALL of the world's problems. I want to worship God and not try to fit Him in when I can.
So, I begin this journey putting it all out there. Will I quit on day 5 and erase this blog from existence? Can I truly be honest along the way or will I choose to spin the truth to make it more palitable? Do I really want to change or do I simply want a different outcome? What will my life look like one year from today?
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Interesting blog. A couple of years ago, I said to myself that I the theme of my life is to "simplify, simplify, simplify." The thought was to do only things in life consistent with such a theme. its a struggle for me but the biggest part is to be in the moment and not be a workaholic, which is something I have struggled with in the past.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, love the blog! keep posting!