Overall, I have had a very happy life. A blessed life. I just have a hard time being satisfied. I'm always looking for more. Not necessarily more stuff just more satisfaction. I am always analyzing how things went down and how I could have done better.
It's a contradiction. I can be pleased with how things turn out and at the same time disatisfied with the imperfections that limit me. I know that God does not expect perfection. That's why he sent His son. He forgives much easier than I do.
People that I work with always think I am calm and patient and level-headed. I guess I am these things. I also have a whole internal city of emotions and thoughts that are not always in concert with my exterior. Another contradiction.
I am complicated. A complicated person desiring more simplicity and yet courting more complications all of the time. Another contradiction.
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