As I'm going through the day today I am really paying attention to what zaps my energy and what gives me energy. I'm thinking that knowing this will somehow help me.
Worrying definitely zaps my energy. When something doesn't go exactly as planned. When I am expecting to have a certain amount of time for a task and part of that time is removed. When I am working with some students that are having a difficult time managing their behavior. When I look at my desk and see that I won't be able to accomplish what I thought I could. When I can't remember what comes next. When someone says something I don't want to hear. When the school calls and tells me my son has detention for 3 days for skipping class. When my son acts belligerent and unrepentent and tells me that he really won't have a consequence because he will be with his mother the next 4 days.
What I realize is that all of these things in themselves don't cause the stress. It is my reaction to them. For me, I can feel my blood pressure rise, the anxiety creeps up (or smacks me across the head), I become agitated, wanting a release, wanting to shut down.
I know that I am not perfect, but I still have the expectation that I should be perfect. If I want my life to become simpler it is clear to me that I will have to become more flexible, learn how to deal with some of this anxiety and cut myself some slack.
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