I am an owner. Sometimes I feel like a 2 year old shouting "mine" everytime someone comes near or threatens my territory. Ownership is good when you want to take pride in something, commit to it and do a good job. Ownership is damaging when you can't share or think you are the only one who can do something.
If you asked me what I collect I would say nothing. But what I really collect is responsibility. I collect things to be in charge of. Problems to solve. People to fix. Tasks that I think only I can do well. Ideas.
Control freak? Yes. OCD? Yes. Well intentioned? Yes.
I am not in control of the world. Say that again. I am not in control of the world. I say that God is in control. I act like I am in control.
I see how this drives people both towards and away from me.
All of these years I kept thinking that giving up things like nail polish, only shaving once a week and planting a garden would simplify my life. Now I am beginning to see that I have to let go of some of this control if I want my life to be simple.
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