Thursday, December 10, 2009

Day 39 - I'm working it out

Somehow, through choices of my own accord, I am here.  You know where here is if you've been reading along.  This was not my intended destination.  I did not have a goal to end up tired, chunky and either unable or unwilling to do a good job at home and work.

I always tell my kids that you can make a situation better or worse.  I have made things worse.  But, now I am really working to make them better and because of this a huge load has been lifted. 

Going down a road that you know is destructive is defeating.  It's like watching yourself hurt yourself, knowing it's not okay and continuing on.  Feeling no power to stop yourself.  Telling yourself that tomorrow will be different, yet continuing to walk down that road.

That road was not leading me to where I want to be.  I'm not sure which road will.  I'm not sure anymore what my goal is.  I know I need to figure that out.  I know I need God to show me. 

By the way, day 2 with no soda. 

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