Day 37 - Time to get Serious

Do I sound like a broken record?  Time to get serious.  A million starts.

It is serious.  As my doctor said today, I'm 44, out of shape, overweight, and with a cholesterol over 300, plaque is building up in my arteries.  If I don't change, bad things are likely to happen.

Chest pains, tingling jaw, pain shooting up my neck, lethargy.  These are already common.  What's next?

I feel like I have let myself down.  Missing out.  Too tired to do things that matter, that add meaning to my life.

I feel like I have let my family down.  Not there.  Sitting in front of a television.  Going to bed early.  Too tired to participate.  Too tired to cook a decent meal.   Too tired to take care of you the way I promised.

I feel like I have let my co-workers and students down.  Missing work.  Not 100%.  Things on the list not getting done.  Lesson plans that are mediocre.  Reports that I pass off to someone else.

I feel like I have let God down.  Not reading my Bible.  Not going to church. 

Okay, I'll stop the self-pity.  That won't get me anywhere. 

I'm far enough gone that this path way back to being healthy is going to hurt.  It will be painful emotionally and physically.  But I don't want to just give up and slip into middle aged decline. 

It's time to get serious.

It's time to fight for myself.