Day 100 - Red Eye

My father taught me about red eye.  Anger that so consumes you that you do and say things that are way past any boundary that is close to appropriate.

I used to have it in spades.  But I read my Bible and believed in Jesus and he taught the opposite of red eye.  Loving people who are hard to love.  Giving forgiveness that is undeserved.  Turning the other cheek.  So as a young girl, I prayed and prayed for God to irradicate red eye from my life.

Around the age of 29 it was pretty much gone with only an occasional flare-up that lacked the fury or consequence of my previous spew.  People who know me now and didn't know me then really don't believe me when I tell them I used to have an anger management problem.

I see it in our kids all of the time.  I say things like "I can see that you are angry.  You have the power to make this situation better or worse.  What will you choose?"  or "If you don't like what someone does, then don't do the same thing.  If you act just like them, then you are no different than them."  or "Why are you giving so-and-so all of your power?  They did this and you responded to them which means they have control over you and you don't have control over yourself."  This usually works to calm them down and make them think.

Today, I needed my own advice.  I haven't felt that anger rising up, inflaming my blood, rushing blood to my head in a LONG time.  I felt it today.  Things needed to be said, but not in anger.  I can make the situation better or worse.  I can act like that person or act like Jesus.  I can hand over my self-discipline on a silver platter or keep it and treat it like the prized possession it is.

I don't want to be a person that seeks revenge over forgiveness.  That says things in reaction to other people.  That gives up precious time being angry because people are selfish or flawed or both.  That calls everyone and tells them how right I am and how wrong the other person is. 

I want to be at peace.  And anger and loathing cannot coexist with peace. 

So tonight, once again, I will pray that God will irradicate red-eye from my life.  Would you please pray for me too?