68 - Alone

As long as I can remember.  All of my memories.  All of my life.  Surrounded by people that love me and people that I love.  I have felt alone.

Maybe everybody feels that way. 

I have dreams where I live alone and know no one.  Not to any depth that would constitute a relationship.  Just hi, how are you doing kind of knowing.  Sometimes I feel that way and I am fully awake.

My mom says its because I'm different. 

It's the reason I have difficulty trusting people. 

I have often wondered if I have some rogue type of Aspergers.

It's why I feel so comfortable around weird children.  Kindred spirits.  Lonely hearts drawn to one another not by words, but by some tacit understanding.

Sometimes alone is what I seek.  All that will bring me comfort.

Sometimes it just feels lonely.